Today I woke up, grabbed my coffee, and wanted to work on my next post about Crime and Punishment. Before I could begin writing, I logged into a couple of the platforms where I share my content. The first thing I see are graphs showing how people are engaging with my posts. It showed several of my posts have not been viewed at all, which started to create uncomfortable feelings.

Instead of focusing on the feelings, I began to ask myself several questions. What am I feeling? I am feeling sad, anxious, and down. Why am I feeling this way? Because people are not engaging with my content, thus my content must not be good. What does this say about me? I’m not good enough. Now I am feeling even more depressed. Then something reminded me of a past post.

This post said that being human means we get off course at times, and how we need reminders to help us change our headings. New questions started to form in my mind. Why did you start posting this content? To share what I enjoy and learn from older books. What is the main purpose of these platforms you are using? At the core, to make money. And because they make money through attention, engagement becomes important to them. This helped me remember that when the aims are different, they lead down different paths. My core intent is to post truth, so my aim will lead me somewhere different, and it’s a place not everyone wants to go.